Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A story.

The Things He Does
By: Amelia Rose

Why is it that still, after all this time, STILL he makes my heart race and pound and do ridiculous back flips inside me! Still, he puts crazy, relentless butterflies in my stomach, making it twist and turn and ache. Palms sweaty, nervous, amazing cold chills.

These were the thoughts that entered the young Millie May after receiving a message from him while preparing for bed.

How can, after all this time, he still do this to me?
Yes, I still love him. I never for a moment denied that. I never stopped loving him. But I thought...I thought...
I thought it was different. That the way I love him had changed...
And it a way.
I know we’re not the right people for each other. That we won’t get married or have children together. And I don’t really desire it...anymore.
In any case, I think I always knew deep inside myself we weren’t right for each other. I think back to some of the conversations we had, and I think he knew it too.
But even that never could keep me from loving him.
Loving him so much I ignored those feelings because I wanted so badly to believe that he—that we were so right together. We both wanted it to be true. We were na├»ve though. And in my naivety, and more than once, I myself messed things up badly enough that if there ever was a time when we were right for each other, it came and went like a shadow.
But it’s okay. Everything happens for a reason. What’s done is done, and I’d say time has worked itself out pretty well. Somehow, it cleaned up the mess we both did so much to make. It has a funny way of doing that.

Still, I just can’t get over how I love him!

How I’ve always loved him!
No one can compare with the love I feel for him. No one does what he does to me. It’s hard to imagine that anyone else will be able to make me feel the way he makes me feel. In fact, no one probably will, which makes me love him so much the more.
But it doesn’t matter. I’m no competition. No girl involved with him need have any jealousy with me, and I feel none for them. My own prince will come some day. The one that was meant for me. But even now as I know this, I can’t help the way I feel for him. I can’t help what he does to me.

Oh! How I will always love him!
I don’t even understand why or how I love him so much. I just know I do.
But even that’s not true. He gave me so much. Taught me so much. He inspired me and shaped so much of who I am, I can’t even put into words everything he did for me, does for me. The magnitude of it all is confounding. I just wish he would understand why I love him like I do. Why it was so hard for me to let go. And why even now I still love him with a zany, irrational love that while it can be tamed and harnessed, can never be mitigated.

I love him. Like a fool I love him.
And I always will. Even when he doesn’t love me, I will love him.
With all of my heart.
He’s the only person who ever could do what he does to me.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Amelia Rose

She watched his expression with tender attentiveness, noting his every gesture, blink, breath. He sat across from her describing his day without any particular interest in it. He caught her eye and smiled his deep, easy grin and suggested the pair take a walk under the setting sun. The garden was fresh with the blossoms of early spring and it would be a good caesura from the stuffy indoors. The lady consented.
Her shawl was brought and the gentlemen helped it on. He offered her his arm and their stroll commenced. The sun had already begun to sink beneath the horizon as the pair followed the winding garden paths around the maison. They talked about nothing, and yet everything was said in their laughs and smiles. The gentleman, she had known him for years and had always found great pleasure in her associations with him.
They walked together for a great while. It had not taken them long to fall into step with each other. She knew him quite well. She knew he was fond of her and she admired him greatly; indeed she loved him. She was quite content in her walk with this man whom she loved, and cherished every second of it.
The sun had almost disappeared behind the foothills in the distance. The lady started with a chill. The gentleman immediately apologized for his imprudence and offered her his jacket. The lady accepted with glad appreciation. It was suggested they return to the house, but the lady assured him she was fine and desired to continue on their path.
In response, the gentleman pulled her a little closer—in hopes of providing the lady some comfort in his warmth. Only the last glances of bright hues cast in the fading sunlight remained for the couple to gaze upon. Twilight came quickly thereafter bringing with it the gentleman’s determination to bring the lady home unscathed.
As they turned their course, the lady noticed the dense clouds that revealed no stars. She expressed her admiration for the blazing entities and her disappointment that they two would not be, on that night, granted the privilege of beholding those heavenly orbs. All was dark, but for the one small aperture in the dense cloud-covering. It did not reveal the moon itself, but let its light reflect and rebound escaping only slightly into the night.
At long last the lady and the gentleman stopped in front of the maison. The gentleman sadly declined her invitation to come inside and talk for awhile. There were things at his own home he needed to tend to this night, but he assured her he would be glad to return on the morrow and promised her a special outing which he had not fully contrived as of yet.
The gentleman held the lady’s right hand and kissed it sweetly. They stood for moments that stretched on for decades gazing into the other’s eyes. The lady read in his sparkling blue eyes something she could not quite discern—was it love? hope? desire?
Warm passion evoked in her a longing which she struggled to repress. It cried out with force and determination. A kiss that had been on her lips for months—nay for years threatened to lash out and expose her, leaving her vulnerable and susceptible to cruel heartbreak and vivid sorrow.
She violently fought her impulses to reach out and kiss him. She loved him—how she loved him! But it was not right. Their relationship did not dictate such conduct. Oh the impropriety! Oh what gossip might preach! But this did not concern her. All that concerned her at this very moment was his eyes penetrating into her soul, his nose pink with the cold of early spring, his brow that furrowed into a warm, affectionate gaze; his lips that curved into an easy grin of comfort and peace as they whispered softly, “Goodnight.”
He was so close to her and suddenly the night air did not seem so cold. He still held her hand where his kiss lingered on her fingertips. She did not want him to leave. She did not want him to go and break this moment.
“Goodnight,” she replied, in contradiction to all the screaming impulses that had awakened in her being.
The gentleman nodded with a light smile. He gave her a meaningful glance as he let go her hand and turned towards the carriage that had arrived for him. They parted in heavy silence. The lady did not move from her place as the carriage pulled away. She watched it until it disappeared into the darkness.
A small sigh escaped her lips. She turned towards the maison, but stopped. Her hand was still warm and tingling from his touch. She had not succumbed to her desires. She felt pride in the command she possessed over herself, and yet, the pride did not wholly satisfy her; her lips felt the heaviness of the unkissed kiss; her mind felt the reproach from her heart’s tingling desires.
Thoughts, emotions all spun in her mind as the lady made her way back to her chambre. It was not so late, nevertheless, the lady retired to her lit.
Distantly, as she reclined her head to her pillow, she heard the little parrot in the foyer screech, “Suivez votre coeur, ma fille! Prenez un risque!” She made a mental note to tell the maid to cover the cage earlier in the day.
Her eyes closed, but sleep eluded her. The lady’s thoughts lingered on the gentleman, their walk, their time together. They spun in circles and she could not dwell on a single one before another took its place. The only thing she could decipher was that her heart wanted something prudence highly objected to; and her sage mind provided an ever-vigil watch over her heart’s deepening desires.
Fatigue, stress, and discontent eventually led her to sleep. But it was a disturbed sleep, uncomfortable, restless and with sketchy dreams that held no happy ending; or at least none so soon as would satisfy her impatient heart.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Some day my prince will come...da da da dee da dum....

I have just fallen completely in love. With whom, or what you ask? None other than Snow White!
I've seen it before and such, but I just watched it again, and it is incredible! It's so cute and sweet and everything nice! (except for snow's singing voice, but i can overlook that for the good of the rest) =D
The writers were brilliant!
Speaking of writing...I've been kinda in the mood...and now I have a love to inspire me....hmm...what shall I roll out next? i guess we'll find out!

I wrote this awhile ago to send to my missionary...guess i never got around to posting it. =)

Secrets of the Stars
For Ty

Waves lick the shore of the misty night
The fresh scent of ocean breeze lingers
As I squish my toes into the soft moistened sand.
Above, the stars whisper softly
Singing a euphonious poem
They twinkle in the darktime,
Pierce through the blissful night.
I stroll along the sand,
Humming my favorite tune
The waves play tickle with my toes
I gaze out in the distance
To where the diamonds,
Sprinkled in the sky
Meet the dark, heavy waves
Rolling stoic in the stillness of the night.
Engulfed by the close proximity
Of the stars, the waves, the crescent-shaped moon,
I am overwhelmed by my senses.
The tides drift in and out
Teasing my bare feet as I bask in glorious solitude; and yet,
I am not alone.
My eyes linger for a long moment
On the many little fires in the sky;
Watching me, protecting me in this moment
From all the evils of the world.
These stars, they are the same that watch over you,
Where you are.
This ocean stretches out, to a place my eyes cannot see;
And yet, the stars tell me
In a still, quiet voice
That on the other side of this vast ocean
Someone is looking across to me...

Amelia Rose

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Remnants of the Sunrise

Click, turn, sputter
The car comes alive
To carry me on a journey
That will take me
To the ends of the earth
Where I will find
The remnants of the sunrise

Only light pastels remain
As relics of the vivid brilliance
That highlighted the heavens
And colored the earth in magnificent splendor;
The trees whispered among themselves
The birds waited, hushed
All the earth stopped
To wait and watch
In awe and wonder
As the cloud curtains parted
And the radiant sphere emerged
To bring light and life
To the earth
Now the sunrise is come and gone
And tempered hues that have appeared in its wake
Begin to fade into daylight
As I gaze upon
The last remnants of the sunrise

Although mine have now vanished,
These glorious remnants
Always linger
In some part of the world
And I will follow them forever,
In search of their light.
They will lead me
Across the world
And I will follow them;
The remnants of the sunrise

Hope, Peace;
Beauty and Wonder;
These are
The remnants of the sunrise

Amelia Rose
Morning has broken.