Thursday, March 26, 2009

lost in a cloud
by; amelia rose

Shadows
Creep around me
With their devilish utterings
Destroying my path
Wreaking havoc to my heart
The fiendish ghouls blur my way
Spin me in circles
As I wander
Through cold haze
That soaks me through
Chilling me past the bone
Twining itself delicately around my heart
Until suddenly
With a jerk
The untemepered turbidity
Tightens it's chords, choking me swift
The entity gags and gasps for pulse; for life
But confined; restrained; it quickly surrenders
To the cold, cloudy confines
Of the covert, colorless chasms
Which swallow me whole
I grope my way through muddied haze
Desperate for something to hold to
And yet when I find it
I cast it aside
Because I do not believe in it;
I cannot let myself hope
For every time I do
I die just a little bit more inside
And the chains, they pull themselves
Just a little bit tighter
I cannot fight
I cannot win
And I hate all those who lie
And tell me I can
It's all lies
Bullcrap.
And I hate them for it!
Hate myself for being so wretched...
This cloud goes on forever
And the more lost I become in it;The tighter the rope chains pull
The farther out I reach; the more it burns me inside
And while my torrid inside scalds
My outer appearance disheveles
With soaking mist and cold,
That freezes all surrounding life
Leaving me alone in icy smog.
The chords press and choke
Until there is nothing left
But hazy vapor-smoke

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

oh, uh uh, ohh sweet child o' mine.

The Back of Your Senior Picture.
By: Ames
For zach

You.
Drive me crazy.
Absolutely insane, you know that?
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
Since seventh grade you have.
But I shrink from you
And you shrink from me
Because we're straight-up wimps
And we both know it.
Perhaps its better this way.
This way no one will get hurt.
But sometimes I wonder what if...
What if one of us had been a little braver...
I love ya--you know I always have,
Always will.
You're my very best friend,
Well, one of them.
And I promise you'll never ever be rid of me.
As long as we live I'll come back to bug ya
And poke ya, and tease ya.
Hold me to it. Bind me to it.
I'm gonna miss you like crazy.
I just can't explain it...why I have to go...
Not without feeling like a jerk.
Thank ya.
For being there for me through all the rough times
And all the sweet times too.
For not judging me
For being you.
For loving me.
You'll always have a little piece of my heart.
Just so you know.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Bungee Jumping

Bungee Jumping
By: Amelia Rose
For Ty

Falling is scary.
I know—I used to be a professional bungee jumper. I’ve come to appreciate though, that it’s not really the fall that causes fear. It’s the anticipation; the waiting. It’s the time of indecision right beforehand where your stomach curls up in knots and you question yourself. Perhaps you do not really want to jump of a cliff; speed through the frictionless air; fall thousands of feet, turning over your life to gravity—and fate. It’s not a guarantee—there’s always that chance that the chord might break and you might hurtle to your death.
But that just makes it all the more thrilling! –Once you’re off the ledge at least.
The wind whistling past your ears! The cold rush of air the chills you beneath your harness! The weird feeling when the chord tightens and for a moment you fly upward and defy gravity! Then the second, easier fall until you’re dangling by your toes as the blood rushes to your head and you see the glorious view all around you!
Exhilarating. You know it is.
It’s just the jumping off that makes you nervous.
Your feet feel the comfortable ground beneath you. They yearn to be safe. To be in control—
I know. Falling is scary—jumping off is scary.
That’s why I retired.
I grew older and my heart couldn’t handle the constant stress.
And yet now I find myself climbing up a cliff. Trying to prepare myself for something that you just can’t prepare yourself for. A big part of me yearns to be home, watching TV, doing dishes, shopping for groceries—anything else. But somehow I got here. I hadn’t planned to be here. I still don’t know if I’ll follow through. It’s not too late. I might get a strange feeling and just turn around and go home.
But that thrill…I remember it so vividly. How incredible it was, no matter where I was in my life…whenever I got the courage to jump off—I never regretted it.
But…falling is scary.
And I’m not sure I’m ready for it just yet…

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.” Anonymous


How I Feel About You in A Million Words or Less
For Ty

Love.
It’s the first think I think of
Even though it’s hard to decipher
Which kind of love it is
Then there’s
Anticipation; fear.
I want to hold back
For just awhile longer to hold back
Stay free
But I am afraid you will not let me wait
You will pull out from me; steal from me
My heart
And I will be helpless
But to fall in love with you
Helpless.
I hate being helpless…
And yet you fascinate me
With a hope
That keeps me intrigued
And wanting more
You surprise me; shock me sometimes
And that frightens me too
But I’m more afraid of myself
Than I am of you
I’m more afraid I’ll lose control
Will not be able to keep focus
But…
I think you will not let me be ashamed
You will help me reach my goal
For it is your goal too…you say; I believe.
And so I hope on…
It is a dreadful hope.
I dread your return
And yet I cannot wait!
To see you
To meet you
To really meet you
And get to know you
Body and soul
You entice me
And yet I bid you stay
Away; there where you are
For a little while longer, stay
Because I am not ready yet
Not ready
To put my heart on the line
Again.
But thenWill I ever be?
Maybe I need a little shove
Out of the nest
But falling is scary!
But maybe I need it…
To force me to fly?
To give me that thrill?
Too young.
Much too young to be married.
Too young, too pretty, too talented
Too sick, too strong, too smart, too arrogant.
Too prideful.
Excuses.
They count for nothing.
We share,
You and I
Something that cannot be duplicated
A chance
One in a million
We share this time of our life;
These crazy special pieces
That are key to shaping our eternal identities.
Perhaps just to encourage each other towards right paths;
To build a friendship.
Or maybe to build something more.
Something deeper.
Something eternal…together?
Maybe.
I have no clue.
I really don’t know what to think about you sometimes.
Good and bad you remind me…of others…
I won’t have a clue for another year and four months.
Perhaps longer.
I hope longer.
And perhaps we’re not meant for eternity.
Just friends forever.
But I think…
Whatever the case may be…
As scary as it may seem (at least for me)
You and I,
We’ll sure have fun finding out!
Learning to Teach
For Lee! =)

Learning to teach
Teaching to learn
Of life
Of truth
Of hope and joy!
Heading out on a journey
To bring others truth
To bring others hope
To bring them youth!
Learning to teach
Teaching to share
The gospel of hope;
Because that we care,
We bare
Our testimony
That the Lord
Is there